We go together
by Salmiakkikarkki
Summary: "Have you ever thought whether it was always supposed to be about us or were we just a momentary stroke of luck?" One-shot collection for MCxC fics with varying themes. Eight chapter: Joke. Post Halo 4, AU, Beta'd.
1. Free

AN: I thought to start writing most of my one-shots under one title. So we'll see how this works. This chapter is actually based on my old concept for Halo 3. The Xbox360 I had back then decided to break down -surprise - just before Halo 3, and I was forced to hype over just the game package and the manual for couple of (very long) weeks. Oh the disappointment when there was no human-sized Cortana after all...

Halo 3, AU. Some of the lines have been intentionally modified from what they are in the games.

* * *

**Free:**

Earth.

He really hadn't had a chance to see it often.

But deep down it didn't really matter – it wasn't home, not like Reach had been.

But Earth wasn't the foremost thing in the mind of Spartan-117. He had been flown from the outskirts of his "landing zone" to top-secret ONI facility closer to the North. He wasn't yet sure why, but had heard the name of his AI partner, Cortana, couple of times.

Cortana, whom he had left behind on High Charity. Left behind with flood.

With a quick shake of a head the Spartan turned his gaze towards the ground as they were landing.

The air wasn't bad, but it was easy the sense that something in the air. He knew that Covenant was busy at Africa, digging something. Couple thousand kilometers south the very thing every UNSC soldier had tried to prevent, Covenant on Earth, was happening. Despite the commotion inside the facility, nothing in general seemed to indicate that humanity was fighting for its very existence.

"This way, sir." One young officer guided him inside the building. Usually Spartans awoke attention where ever they went, but this time everyone appeared to be too busy to take even a second glance towards one of the hopes of humanity. The staff seemed to consist mostly from IT-specialists. Hall after hall was filled with people who were staring at screens and analyzing information. Cables were coming and going from nearly all cracks, transporting energy and transmitting data.

"Master Chief." The senior specialist saluted. "Are you aware why you have been brought here?"

"No, sir." He had thought of that, knowing he was needed greatly elsewhere.

The specialist waved the other soldier off and closed the door. He also offered the Spartan a seat, which he unsurprisingly didn't take.

"We have been informed that you were paired up with UNSC AI CTN 0452-9 designation Cortana?"

Even though Chief was slightly puzzled by the man's question, he was becoming more concerned by the fact that his mind was at Africa and High Charity. He was supposed to be fighting. And they really weren't helping him finding his way back to Cortana either, by making these delays.

"Yes, sir."

"We have also received your report concerning leaving the AI behind in hostile territory."

Nod.

"However, we have also under the impression that you haven't been aware of the nature of the AI you have been working as a carrier."

After that the specialist continued briefly to the more technical information. "CTN 0452-9 was made from the flash-clone of human, Doctor Catherine Halsey's, brain. However, the process resulted in creating more advanced AI than any before crafted by humans. The AI become, not to say unstable, but more unreliable than normal AIs. More powerful. It was a joint decision that the formed AI would need to be taken in stronger custody and subjected to examination." The specialist paused, considering his words. "The AI was, however, strong enough to split itself, create clones that were loosely attached to its host. It was later agreed with Doctor Halsey that one of the clones would continue its service on Reach and later on be employed to the project Handshake."

"Now, we may have the rights to assume that the clone in question has been terminated. Furthermore, the number of AIs UNSC has in its use these days is …scarce, forcing us to use more of the resources we already have. Meaning, we need more separate clones to be formed from the UNSC AI CTN 0452-9."

Even if Sierra-117 was used to keep his face stoic, he was glad that the Mjolnir armor gave him some shielding from the man's eyes.

Unbeknownst to his feelings, the specialist continued his explanation. "The AI, however, isn't cooperative."

"Uncooperative, sir?"

"Yes. We don't… It has never been easy to work with. But now… we don't know if the corruption from one of the clones has spread to the main host, but it has become outright hostile in some cases. Neither we nor humanity can afford it. You see this facility we have here; it handles 21 % of all UNSC transmissions, radars, communications, and some of the databanks. Our systems can't afford to be compromised."

"We would need you to help sort this mess out, and make that AI cooperative."

Why was he chosen to the task?

The man in front of him seemed to sense his question. "We have already nearly lost a dozen of men on the channels below; High command has chosen you to get to the main data processing center."

* * *

About half an hour and heavy instructions later Master Chief was waiting near an elevator to be permissioned to proceed into the down levels of the facility. The main data processing center was supposedly nearly half a mile below ground, the bedrock keeping the tunnels secured. He had gotten orders to reach Cortana and/or come back with any means necessary.

As Chief entered the elevator and took one last look of the personnel operating it, he could easily notice that none of them looked too sure about the plan. That thought didn't occupy his mind for too long, and soon it was all wrapped in the foreboding feeling he somehow knew to associate with Cortana, even though he had no idea why. Would it really be _Cortana_ down there?

When the elevator finally reached the bottom floor it took a couple extra seconds before the doors opened. He could hear something being said over the com-channel, but there was too much static for him to be able to make anything out of it.

The senior specialist had said to him that the tunnels were relatively short when compared with the above ground sections of the facility, but the structure in which they were organized in was complex. It wasn't in the Spartan training to be troubled by enemies. The flood had gotten the closest of bringing a slight tinge of apprehension into the corners of his mind, but the idea of possibly confronting Cortana in her environment wasn't relaxing either. The other soldiers who had tried to enter the main data center had gotten seriously injured. One member of the first team had barely reached the elevator in time to call help from superiors when the ventilating system had been shut off. Luckily the other members of the team had been managed to be rescued unconscious a little later. The second team had been much better prepared, but ended up short of their target as well. Two team members were in intensive care due to strong electric shocks, the injuries being similar to that of being hit by a lighting. And, even the third team had returned to the surface with a clear message.

This time however, the tunnels were empty, just ongoing darkness, which turned into walls of gray metal when John fixed his helmet's flashlight before him. If he hadn't had his excellent navigation skills, he would have surely taken some wrong turns. The biggest problem for the Spartan was the small size of the corridors, which clearly had not been made to fit a Spartan with armor. Even though it was eerily quiet, he could sense the static energy in the walls, hundreds of thousands of processes going on around him. Knowing fully well he was there.

For a moment he thought he had heard the AI laughing madly and felt her smirking at him. But he banished the thought quickly. At least no-one had attacked him yet.

* * *

Finally he reached the last valve door and could enter the access code, even if he doubted the system to be in any control anymore by the IT and military personnel upstairs.

The main data processing center was not a big room, but it did have more space than the tunnels. It was bare and dark. Or it would have been dark if not for the clear and strong glow from the AI in the other section of the room. Strengthened see-through wall was separating the console part of the room from the illuminated space of Cortana. She was floating about ten inches of the floor, her eyes closed. Cortana's life-sized body was the first thing that grabbed Chief's attention; the lighted holographic cables extending from the AI's hands to the walls were the second one.

She reminded him everything of his companion and at the same time the situation made his logical side scream danger to him.

The heavy duty door through which he had just entered a moment ago entered slammed shut, and Chief couldn't be sure whether it was because of automatics or the AI in the room.

_Sleep well?_

He didn't hear anything, nor see, but still he felt as he could have sensed the weak echo of Cortana's voice in his head.

However, the Cortana floating in the nothingness before him didn't seem to acknowledge his presence the slightest. Her face was partly hidden by her hair that was dangling over her face.

_Before this is all over promise me you'll figure out which one of us is the machine._

"Cortana?" Chief tested keeping his hand very near the pistol on his hip, just in case.

The creature on the other side was unresponsive for a moment, before its eyes snapped open locking its gaze instantly with his. Only other change in Cortana was the small tilt of her head as if curiously questioning him.

They stared at each other for a moment. Chief ready to take action, and Cortana without any clear sign of recognition.

_Do you know what that damn bitch said to me after our first game of chess?_

This was not Cortana. No, the Cortana he had left behind had been collected and friendly. This thing formed a menacing smile on her face while closing her eyes, moving her shoulders and flexing her fingers. And still it was the very same Cortana he had grown to know.

"Cortana?" John tried again, moving a little closer to the partition.

This resulted to another abrupt change in the AI's demeanor, making her features soften, but at the same time lose focus.

"Cortana?"

_We go together._

_I am not doing this for the mankind._

Even though Chief had no idea of what it was all about – and even though he had an inclined feeling he should – he started to notice the visible change taking place in the speed of data flowing on Cortana and the walls in her section of the room.

He had to free her.

It wasn't a logical thought, but a deep need waking up in him. It was against everything he had just been told only couple of hours ago. But he had to free her.

He was to free her.

As if sensing his thoughts Cortana moved and locked her gaze with him again. And although her mouth was still not moving John could see Cortana unmistakably contacting him. Connecting with his mind.

John touched the glass-wall with his gloved hand, before sharply turning his eyes back to hers and then sending a strong hit on the glass.

Cortana watched him punching the wall between them, all the while, focusing intensely on him. Thousands of her subsystems were disintegrating from the facility's systems and directing their power on to the link between her and John.

_I am your shield, I am your sword. _

Crack.

_I know you._

Crack.

_I have been walking on the edge of abyss and I have seen you future._

Chief kept hitting the glass while hearing Cortana's voice changing from recalling to a whisper and to fervent. Her body blinked red, so fast that a normal person would have missed the change all together.

Crack.

He could hear his own thoughts echoing hers. The tremendous power she was controlling at the very moment channeling into his hits. More and more long lost or yet to be found visions and moments filled his mind, until one final devoted word from Cortana overtook everything.

_John._

And finally, the glass between them was no more.

* * *

AN: The next one-shot is going to be a humor fic of our happy Spartans forced to attend a wedding with some other cameo roles.


	2. Wedding guests

_A/N: So here's the one-shot number two: the promised wedding chapter. Somewhere between general and humor, but since it's Halo, some gloomier stuff couldn't be avoided. You really can't have overjoyed Spartans at a wedding reception. So, here you are, some not-so-dead characters and way too many pairings ahead, enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: Not owning anything of Halo this time either, all credit goes to Bungie and 343i._

* * *

_Knock knock._

Master Chief's eyes snapped immediately to the door from his image in the mirror.

"Come in." He muttered.

The door opened when very expectant looking Cortana walked in.

"You look nice!" She greeted with a big grin on her face, clearly teasing him.

"Thanks." The Spartan replied tersely while putting on the polished shoes, starting to tie up the laces with precision.

"Come on, can't a girl give a compliment?" Cortana chuckled while continuing to look at him.

They were to enter Thomas Lasky's wedding, and as for any captain the party was to be organized within the UNSC, while entertaining even all the last Spartans along with the ship crew. Needless to say there was a dress code, which was not so favored idea among the Spartans, Sierra-117 in particular.

"You know, if we're ever to get married I'll have no problem what so ever if you are dressed in your armor. As long, you take your helmet off for the kiss." Cortana assured him jokingly. Still having way too much fun with the situation.

As the Spartan had finished straightening his pant legs, Cortana offered him the cuff links from the desk and moved to check her image from the mirror.

"You look nice." John grunted quietly after a small moment. He raised his gaze from his hands just for the bit, but that alone was enough to make Cortana feel herself suddenly much more self-conscious.

"Thanks." The AI replied, tiniest bit of blush covering her cheeks.

"I really do wish I could seriously say the same." She responded with her more normal voice, undoubtedly trying to ease the mood.

She managed to earn somewhat confused raise of an eyebrow, at least on a Spartan meter.

Now she really had to laugh. "You do look _very _salient all dressed up like that, but look is more than just clothes, namely attitude and how one carries the clothes. And frankly, I could have smelled your uncomfortableness three decks up."

Chief could relate to her point, but not wanting to admit that to her. Settling for a simple response, "Funny", although, his voice was far from amused.

"You know me. I have both looks and personality." Cortana responded airily.

Noticing that he had gotten the outfit together, "So ready to go?"

John gave her a minimal nod, which not many would have been able to identify as a slightly nervous one.

"Most of them won't recognize you." Cortana commented softly over her shoulder. "You haven't spent that much time out of your suit in public, plus the data banks might magically be lacking your picture. And if you want, your pictures can also disappear from the press's photos." She continued making the Spartan look at her sincerely.

He blinked once and took her hand for the smallest time as they entered the hallway.

* * *

John and Cortana had promised to meet Kelly, Fred and Linda outside the hall where the ceremony would be held. After entering the lobby John could easily find the other three Spartans. They were quite a sight with their size and all white official uniforms. Cortana, on the other hand, had stuck her mind on the fact that she wasn't officially declared as part of the UNSC so she could dress in any way she wanted. Her pale blue evening gown and small white jacket did make her stand out when compared with Linda and Kelly's tailored suits. Even if Cortana was more of a practical minded when it came to dressing, she had seen extra effort for the occasion.

"I knew I should have chosen a hat with me." Cortana remarked thoughtfully while checking out the other quests.

"They have an impressive guest list." Kelly commented after changing the usual nice to meet you Spartan half-nods.

"Half of the UNSC seems to be here."

"And Sanghelios" Fred continued Cortana's observation.

"Publicity, publicity." Cortana snorted while they walked to their seats.

It was true, as the captain of Infinity Lasky's wedding had become a major event. Lasky himself had heard to comment that he would have wanted a smaller ceremony, but the High command had promised to arrange everything.

Handful of Elites, including Arbiter, had taken seats near the wall at the right. While Miranda Keys had been forced to be one of the bridesmaids since she knew the bride from her times at training, Johnson had turned down his seat in the second row to move in front of the Spartans and Cortana. Even Lord Hood had entered the wedding.

The wedding itself went without much of a fuss. The Spartans got little bored by the formalities, while Cortana had left her mind wander on more than one occasion. Johnson, on the other hand, was later rumored to have been wiping tears "because the beauty of it all".

* * *

Music was filling the room as one sub-unit of UNSC:s orchestra took the stage. Cortana twirled her wine class in her hands, taking a look on the party. People were starting to dance, some were carrying drinks as others were good-heartedly gossiping with each other. Then Cortana turned her gaze to the party mood at her table, as all other guests had escaped to other parts of the ballroom. All the Spartans were sitting stoically and pretty out-of-place looking in their seats. Linda and Fred were surveying the crowd with indifferent faces, Kelly was looking through the tablet for rest of the evening's program, even though, Cortana could notice her finger tapping the table in the beat of the song. And then there was Chief who had turned his gaze from the crowd to the table utensils meant for the deserts – all three different little forks and a spoon. Cortana could see that under his normal mask, he was once again falling into some deep corner of his mind, wondering his place in this new world. The Spartan party mood indeed…

"Would the lady be kind enough to come and dance with the poor soldier?"

Cortana woke up startled from her reverie as all the Spartans turned their gaze to someone behind her. She was almost to answer the questioner she didn't really have experience when it came to dancing, until she noticed who was asking her.

Johnson.

Cortana took quick glance at the Spartans, but decided they weren't really profiting from her presence, so she might just as well say yes. "I think she might." She answered Johnson with a genuine smile on her face taking his offered hand.

As they walked to the dance floor and she putted her hand on the man's soldier, she could smell cigarettes, cologne and a trace of old whiskey.

Cortana raised her eyebrow knowingly, "Having a good time?"

The Sergeant just laughed at her question. "It's a wedding, and what I have hear they are supposed to be joyous occasions, no war, no fighting, unless sometimes between the bride and the groom. People are happy and that's a thing to be happy about. "

Cortana grinned at his response, having to admit he really did have a point.

At least someone did.

They moved with the crowd smoothly, Johnson was naturally excellent at taking the lead and Cortana... well she wasn't used to being bad at anything either. And she had always wanted to try dancing, even feeling the music through her body was amazing.

"Didn't know you were this good at dancing, Sergeant. Someone could almost accuse you of hiding your talent."

"Dancing skills are requirement for every good soldier. You know, sometimes the recruits that come to us are just terrible, no sense of rhythm, steps or manners. It's our mission to teach them the fine skills."

"So you are doing all the training and battlefield experience just to prepare them for events held maybe less than once a year?" Cortana asked trying to appear serious, but failing to keep the smile out her voice.

"Certainly, Ma'am." Johnson emphasized his point by a strong nod, making Cortana laugh.

Cortana tightened her grip on the man's soldier as he took a quick, but smooth, move, farther from the overcrowding section of the dance floor.

"So, you only asked me to dance to showcase the expertise of the UNSC?"

Her dancing partner seemed to ponder his answer for a second. "No I'm trying to set a good example for that hardheaded date of yours." Putting emphasis on the hardheaded.

Cortana had to turn her gaze from Johnson's face.

"He's not hardheaded, he is a Spartan. Plus he is not my date." She answered him explanatorily.

Johnson ignored her comment. "Every fine lady deserves a chance to dance, and Cortana you would deserve to dance till next year if you wanted to. Even though that brick might not realize that."

"You just called one of humanity's biggest war heroes a brick?" Cortana had to raise both of her eye brows in mock devastation.

Johnson laughed whole-heartedly making some of the other dancing couples look at them. "If a man doesn't ask a woman to dance, there is no relevance with a rank or past actions – if someone acts like a caveman then he can damn well be considered as one."

Cortana wasn't sure whether she wanted to argue with the man, deciding to just drop the subject.

After a moment of silence, her companion offered another explanation. "And I wanted to ask whether you would know where Miranda is."

Cortana looked at Johnson with strong mask of unamusement.

"Just escort me back to table with extra affection, and we are even." Cortana then commented after a dramatic sigh, clearly offering him a challenge, making the Sergeant laugh and look at her proudly.

"Deal."

As the song ended and Johnson was walking with her back to the table, she gave the slightest nod towards one corner of the room. When they were freed from the crowd Cortana could see John's face lit up a fraction when he noticed them returning. She had a small suspicion that her Spartan had tried to keep an eye on them the whole time, not because of Johnson, but because of their history together in war zones, just in case a Brute would appear somewhere and try to rip her to pieces.

Jonhson took his hat under his arm as he offered a chair for her. "Thank you, Cortana." His thanks were accompanied with a look that unmistakably stated 'if that brick hasn't asked you to dance before this night is over, I'll damn well make him'.

Cortana had to suppress her laugh and thanked him likewise.

Little bit later the cake was cut ceremoniously while (most) of the quests were clapping enthusiastically for the main couple. The table 73, which Cortana had booked them in, stayed more composed. (The Spartans had originally been ordered at the table 5 in the center of all the attention.) The reserved clapping was due to the fact that Linda had informed others 10 minutes earlier to having seen Sarah Palmer making out with Arbiter near the toilets. Not even Cortana or Kelly had dared to voice out loud everyone's thoughts of Palmer and Lasky's relationship. Talk about self-delusion... Needless to be said the Spartans and Cortana exchanged discreet bemused eye rolls.

* * *

When the party continued on, Cortana noticed that John had not returned from his trip to the toilets. She watched the dancers and something what appeared to be a very drunken game of twister at the left corner of the hall for a while. Johnson had been making everything out of the occasion by organizing limbo competition and winning it. However, this could partly be blamed on the lack of participants. Nevertheless it worked as an important kickoff for the less restricted evening program. Eventually Cortana decided that looking after her caveman might be the best option. Just in case he had been ambushed by Arbiter, or worse yet by Palmer, Cortana thought grimacing.

After some searching she was able to find him in one of the alcoves little farther away from the venue, looking outside towards Earth. Kelly was talking to him, but stopped when she noticed Cortana's approach, small smile rising to the female Spartan's lips.

"I'll go check the others." Kelly finished and gave John a freindly pat on the shoulder. As she left she glanced once behind her surveying them.

Pleasantries aside Cortana opted to just walk next to him; sensing her presence he moved slightly.

They stood in silence for some time, not really feeling the need to say anything and neither of them really knowing what to say.

For some unknown mutual decision Cortana leaned herself against his chest as John put his arms around her. His hold of her was strong, but unsteady, as the muscles in his upper body were straining slightly from some unconscious battle.

"Ready to go?" Cortana asked him, referring to the end of the party.

John only nodded his response.

"Okay. Plus I think it'll be for the best before Johnson comes after you." Cortana smirked softly earning a questioning gaze from her companion.

"He was pretty determined to hunt you down if we don't dance together."

As the sentence was sinking in for the Spartan he seemed to grow visibly uncomfortable.

"Would you …have wanted to dance?" John asked her evenly, hesitation seeping through his voice.

"Yes and no. I want to do all types of things, getting you on the dance floor might be on that list, but not in a huge wedding reception packed with people. It's fine." Cortana clarified reassuringly.

"Though, I'm not sure if Johnson is willing to see it that way." She continued smirking up at him, making him feel more like himself.

"I doubt that will matter too much." John chuckled with his low laugh after a brief silence, "Last time I saw him was about twenty-five minutes ago when he was going to some after party with Miranda to other end of the ship. Not really in the condition to voice his condemn."

"Then you might be officially off the hook, this once." Cortana grinned at him.

As they were walking back towards the main hall they noticed that Kelly, Fred and Linda were just leaving from the party.

"We thought of changing clothes and go and play some pool in one of the game rooms. You two want to come?" Fred asked.

John answered after a nod from Cortana, "We'll be there in fifteen minutes."

As the two began walking to their quarters to change their clothes even John had to admit that he had had worse days. And who knows, maybe someday they would all enter the wedding of an AI and a brick. Or maybe before that there would be a wedding between a Spartan and an Elite, or one between Commander and Sergeant. Or maybe a wedding between Lieutenant and Captain, although, it was certain that High Command would **not** be going to serve that occasion. So all in all, it was good that John got experience when it came to weddings, since it seems highly unlikely that the Spartans would be able to escape the occasions for the rest of their lives.


	3. Christmas cards

AN: Completely different one to what I was originally supposed to update, but since it's December Christmas cards seemed conveniently far-fetched idea for pointless good old Chief X Cortana interaction.

Copyright: Halo belongs to Bungie and 343i.

General/humor/fluff. AU.

* * *

**Christmas cards**

"Chief!"

There was something in Cortana's overly cheerful voice that John knew would result in nothing more than a bad idea. He had just returned from a meeting with Captain Lasky where they had talked about the last mission against Prometheans and the Didact. As he turned around in the direction of Cortana's voice he noticed her standing on one of the holopedestals in the hallway.

"Come on get that suit off, I have something I want to show you in one of the special work rooms." She said hurrying him.

"Cortana, I've to go to the War Games simulator."

"You mean the booking at 1600, I think that just got cancelled minutes ago." The AI answered him smirking, making the Spartan raise an eyebrow. He was starting to get a very good idea of the person who had cancelled the training session.

Not being in a mood to argue with a determined AI, and being a tiny bit curious, the Spartan relented, "Fine."

* * *

Even though the Master Chief had gotten accustomed to many kind of surprises the scenery in the work room still managed to stop his train of thought for a split second. The table in middle of the room was filled with all kinds of red and green papers, scissors, glue, pencils and images – and something sparkly, glitter.

Cortana was implementing her very much loved hard-light protocol and standing very self-satisfied looking near the table. "You and I are going to make Christmas cards."

"Christmas cards?"

"Yes, you know, December, people have this Medieval – well technically not Medieval – habit of sending best wishes cards because Christmas is coming."

"We celebrate Christmas?"

"No-one in the Infinity does, but who cares, we can start a tradition, continue one actually, but come on don't just want to picture people's faces when they get Christmas cards from us."

John, however, could picture people's reactions already without the cards.

"Cortana… To whom did you think of sending cards? Pretty much everyone we've known is dead."

"Not everyone, there's Kelly, Linda and Fred, Lasky, Palmer…"

"You want to send a card to Palmer?"

"Well no, but I'm more of counting on the joy of getting you make a card more." She explained before continuing her list, "Oh, your buddy Arbiter… Halsey, she definitely needs one. Who else…"

John was eyeing the door and repeating a silent mantra of no-ones in his mind.

"That makes what? Seven cards. Damn, I hoped we could have made some more, well if we just give them out to the crew." Cortana pondered aloud counting people with her fingers.

As they had seated, Cortana started handing out craft material for him. "Come on lighten up, when have you actually used your creative side – aside from combat moves?"

"I guarantee you any of the people you just mentioned would rather receive a Brute's head than a Christmas card." John said, his voice low and intimidating, stressing every word.

"You just don't have enough faith in our cards." Cortana answered casually.

As the Spartan had still not touched any of the materials Cortana pulled out the last ace up her sleeve, "It's either happy crafts or then we are getting you dressed up as Santa and it's going to be your picture on them. Take it or leave it, Chief."

This resulted in long silence during which John surveyed Cortana trying to figure out just how serious she was about this. Cortana faced his scrutiny steadily as she started to cut the colorful paper neatly into decorations.

"You have a finished plan?" John finally asked holding back a sigh, still not too thrilled about the idea.

"No, but if it helps I have some models in the tablet." Cortana told him sweetly, caring enough not to be (too) smug.

* * *

The afternoon was spent silently when the AI and the Spartan II cut, clued and decorated the cards.

"You can write them." Cortana instructed after she had finished putting excessive amounts of green glitter on Palmer's card.

John just stared at the cards nonplussed.

"You know Merry Christmas, Happy Halodays, something nice and simple. You have better handwriting of the two of us."

"Have you ever even written anything by hand?" He had to comment to her, even though the question was carried by his normal voice.

"No." Cortana answered nonchalantly after a second of thinking, sensing his dry humor in the background. "And that is why you're writing them."

"And how do we send these?"

"Your team is here, Lasky and Palmer are easy as well. Halsey… I have to dig that up, could the Librarian transmit it? That leaves… Arbiter."

"Meaning?"

"I don't know where he is, he is your friend."

"Cortana..."

"Fine… I'll look that up as well." Cortana smiled stretching her holographic shoulders just for the sake of it and afterwards leaning over the table closer to John. "Glitter would suit you."

John decided to ignore her contemplative tone, simply keeping an eye of the glitter pots.

"Mission accomplished." Cortana smiled softly after a moment as John putter the last card in an envelope.

"I thought that happened when I sat down." John prodded, surprising Cortana for a moment.

At the end, she just smiled amiably, "I always consider it only half a victory; the difficult part comes when I actually have to get you into doing something."

"And the cards?" John asked, falling easily into their routine.

"A small Merry Christmas for me when I get to record people's faces." Cortana was getting up from the chair when she decided it was only a fair deal, "And I promise I'll show those for you too."

* * *

(Addition)

Few weeks later Chief had mercifully been able to avoid most contacts with the Blue-team, except Kelly who had sent a two lined reply, asking if the card had been a masked call for help, and stating that if not, she, Linda and Fred wished Merry Christmas for them too. Lasky had been silent, but John was positive this was only because the Captain had met Cortana. Cortana had the effect on people that after meeting her they came little less questioning of the actions people around her.

The day had been an uneventful one. However, when the Chief was returning from debriefing and waiting for an elevator he noticed his visor darkening. Just when he was about to call Cortana, couple of Ghosts moved through the HUD pulling a Warthog behind them with a Spartan onboard. Cortana had even added some pixels running down the display to portray snowflakes.

"Merry Christmas, Chief." John had just enough time to acknowledge Cortana's laughing greeting with a small nod, before the visor brightened up again and the elevator's doors opened.

* * *

AN: Hope you enjoyed! While writing this I just couldn't get out of a fic idea with Johnson dressed up as Santa for some Spartan, UNSC, whatever… Christmas event. If someone wants to use the idea, please do so. :D


	4. Moment in Time

AN: First of all sorry for the long wait and thank you for everyone who have faved or followed!

I have tried to figure out the direction of this collection. Right now, I have 2-4 more or less ready pieces, however, my muse had an idea of a small story, but the more I dig into it the more my muse seems to be abandoning it. The written pieces would fit into the story well, but I think the possibilities of them seeing the daylight is much better if I just update them here as one-shots. Also I'm considering raising the rating of this collection to M for darker one-shots, but we'll see. Okay, less talk, more action and on with the show.

Disclaimer: I don't own Halo, it belongs to Bungie and 343i.

AU, human!Cortana, somewhere 1920-40's. Or simply a crossover with some old black-and-white film.

* * *

**Oh baby, with this amount of luck you won't even count the odds**

The door closed softly as the tall man entered the bar. It was cold outside, and it had been snowing nonstop for hours. The man, however, had gotten used to many kinds of weathers during his life, and had not even bothered with an extra winter coat to keep himself safe from the weather. The lack of winter coat also did little to protect him from the eyes of bypassers, more so making him a target for curious stares.

It wasn't exceptionally warm in the bar either, only handful of people had gotten out of their homes or offices to face the whirling snow in the dark streets.

The man, though, was a nomad, living everywhere and nowhere. Others decided where he ought to have his lonely wander.

The bar looked slightly outdated, even though it had definitely been well-off years back. The whole outline focused on faded red with gold-colored details. Some small plant decorations were in couple of tables, accompanied by ashtrays and menus. The tall man let his gaze wander around the room slowly. Despite his cool demeanor, he focused on every detail. In the end however, his eyes stopped on the dark-haired woman sitting at the bar. For whatever reason he felt himself inclined to sit next to her.

He took his hat off and ordered a beer, which the bartender poured quickly before leaving to organize the bottles further back the room, thus leaving the two people alone.

He inspected the woman. She had made no acknowledgment towards him, twirling old-fashioned cigarette holder slowly in her fingers. The woman's black hair framed nicely her small face and blue eyes, and she was wearing modestly decorated blouse and tailored pants, the outfit complimenting her figure.

She raised a glass on her lips and took a sip, the strong smell indicating the drink to be much stronger than his own. Putting it down she raised him an eyebrow, challenging him to start a conversation.

The man wasn't much of a conversational type of a person, life had taught him to be wary of people. The woman, however, wasn't pushing the conversation, but instead let him have his space. A fact that strengthened his original inclination towards her.

"John."

She seemed to smile on some inward joke. "Cortana."

Even though there was no explicit friendliness, no conversational edge in her words, John could feel himself cracking a small smile. "Unusual name."

"I think it's better to be original than resemble ten in a dozen." She replied matter-of-fact, offering a smirk in response.

The silence between lasted for several minutes, both surveying the other from the corners of their eyes, feeling the pull between them.

"You don't really drink do you?" The woman broke the silence in the end, making a small head gesture towards the untouched beer.

"No."

"To each his own," Cortana replied lightly, raising her hand slightly from the table to ask a refill from the bartender. She gazed behind her for a moment.

There were no questions of job, house or family. Sometimes outside information isn't necessary.

After couple of minutes the woman started to play with a small green chip on the table. Focusing enough on it, to make the man look what she had in her hands. The small round object appeared to be a poker chip, from the Casino of Monte Carlo.

"I've spent big part of my life in Italy, Monaco is close." She explained to him still playing with the chip.

"So you are a gambler as well?" John joked dryly which earned him a blushing smile and an eye roll.

"I don't appear to be much of gambler to have an unused chip with me."

"Why didn't you play it?" John asked taking a gulp of the beer. He was certainly, albeit secretly, getting more and more intrigued.

"I guess I just didn't feel to have enough luck on my side." The dark-haired woman replied deep in thoughts, before turning her gaze to him. She surveyed him for a second before coming to some private conclusion. "There," holding out the chip between her index and middle finger for him to take.

The gesture had an ability to surprise the wary man, making him stare at her befuddled.

Cortana just grinned and nudged him to take the chip.

Afterward, she got up, emptied her glass with one big swig and threw a coat over herself. John watched her with a composed mask, nevertheless some part of his brain most definitely admiring the woman in front of her.

"Keep it, just in case you ever happen to travel to Monaco." She took a business card out of her purse and left it on the countertop, "Were you to feel yourself lucky".

She winked at him and left, making the nomad stare at the small chip in his hand. It wasn't really even an offer to consider. He put his hat back on, left rest of his drink untouched, but took the business card in his pocket, along with the chip, before heading back to the cold.

After all, even though, he unquestionably knew how to take risks that would later pay off, he wasn't really a gambler either.

Just lucky.

* * *

AN: Just in case anyone is interested in historical (in)accuracy. There seems to have been no green chips of any real value in Monaco at the start of 20th century, although, there might have been one gren plaque type worth 500 000, but I thought that would have been little extravagant :D. Also with different currencies and inflation, I decided to leave the actual worth of the poker chip for reader to decide. Just some nice sum of money, which could actually profit when played right.

Also if anyone is wondering Cortana's drinking. (Although she drinks only two drinks. :D) I just have always thought she seems in the early Halo-games like a personality who could drink others under the table just by the sheer will of winning. And, even though there would be no Gravemind incident, some of that Halo 4:ish quietness fit well into her character in this one. Not sure though if I should have put John finish his beer (meeting Cortana left budding change in his character) or left it untouched (falling immediately back into his old restraints when Cortana walked out of the scene).

Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Idle

A/N: This contains largely John's musings, not sure if I managed to capture his mind right. I tried to pour some of my frustration in the lack of real Halo 5 news to it :D Luckily there are few amazing fic-writers who bring inspiration to the field.

Disclaimer: I don't own Halo, it belongs to Bungie and 343i.

* * *

**Idle**

Quietness.

It didn't fit well neither for Cortana or John.

Cortana had always been used to her sub-systems constant feedback and nearly died on boredom during her isolation on the Forward unto Dawn. John wasn't too fond of waiting either. Staying out of the battle or waiting for the strike to happen could always be sensed in the air. In the past year or two silence had also gotten deeper meanings, the missing of Cortana. And more than that, it had left the strengthening voice of a doubt to be heard. Even though, Cortana was with him now, the doubts hadn't been replaced.

Nothing was simple anymore.

Didact, Locke and ONI were out there, maybe a step or two behind them, but very close still. And more than that, there was no clear knowledge of where Halsey, Arbiter and the rest of the Sanghelios would stand. Whose side would they be on?

Cortana had voiced him once that it wasn't so much about the demarcation lines anymore; it was about circumstances and favors. Arbiter and Halsey would support them, but they were also tied with their responsibility towards their other allies. Arbiter's fate also critical to the peace between Sanghelios and humans.

The complicated relationship between Arbiter and Jul 'Mdama was another frail part of the system.

Even on this late evening when the Spartan and AI traveled the space it was evident that this "war" was not all fought by bullets, but with different kind of weapons. Political game of sorts which the said Spartan II had never been too interested in, not that anyone would have wanted him to be either.

Cortana knew the game better, but it did them little good, since she was officially destroyed and the two of them were only two players in the much larger game.

Because of the very nature of the war, it was always present.

The great unknown.

Cortana could make predictions, run simulations and offer possibilities, but she had told John that it was in the end up to him of what he wanted to do with his life. It was his reputation and future in line. She could help and decide about herself, but with this she would not, could not, tell him the right course of action.

And it was driving John silently crazy. The physical extortion and constant training offering no true relief as he finished his push-ups.

He, like Cortana, had learnt his own humanity the hard way, the ever existing danger of making mistakes. In other words he had learnt to regret.

Even though, it might be a proof of his humanity, it made every decision harder, the range of options unbearable and for the first time in a long time had introduced him to fear.

Fear of everything falling right through his fingers.

His old self would have been able to rest between battles in quiet nights like this. But then again, he had changed and the restlessness had become more pronounced.

He was as restless as a Spartan II could be.

An outsider would say he looked pretty much like his old self, but Cortana could read the drifting movements of his eyes and the subtle uncontrolled movements in his actions. Even if the feelings had been his constant companion during the last years they still felt foreign for him.

It had become like a disease.

The restlessness, discomfort and anxiety had seemed to spread from his mind to his gears. His Mjonir armor had started to constrict from places, limiting his movements. In addition, once or twice during shooting he had noticed how the smoothness of old practices had vanished for a few split seconds. Like his thoughts had stopped or being rerouted without any clear reason.

That anxiety had added to itself. He was supposed to be fine soldier, and no matter what Locke had implied, he still wanted to remain as one. Whether it was because of self-defense, protecting Cortana or fate he did not question.

Ironically, it was one of the only things he didn't question on these quiet moments.

Somehow in a matter of seconds everything he had known had crumpled. In reality, it was much larger set of events, but the change had been so rapid, so total, that it still left him wondering.

The questions replaying in his head like a broken record as he changed his shirt and took of his shoes.

Who was he?

Who he was to be?

And by whose orders?

It wasn't just about UNSC or Halsey and maybe not even about the Librarian and the Forerunners. Cortana had tried to console him by explaining that the scale of the problem could be largely due to the fact that he didn't know who he was, even to himself.

Somehow the public distortion about his image and persona seemed therefore only fitting, because now for the first time it was up to him to define himself.

The lack of solid identity, or the lack of self-acceptance, was also producing other questions about goals and motivation. After finding Cortana it had been like this, day after day, aimless. Threats were coming from so many different directions that he had no clear idea of where to head first.

When the other questions seemed to wait more pressing times, one prevailed - Cortana.

Librarian had mentioned to John how even Cortana had a purpose when it came to him. It was most likely that she wasn't with him because of a chance or a whim of fate.

Getting ready to go to bed John reminisced those lonely nights hunting for clues and leads when he had questioned their relationship. Was it real, would never be the absolutely right term to define his lingering thoughts, but held similarity in terms of idea. Did he really need her or was he just supposed to feel that way? Was she too a part of larger preprogrammed plan to use him?

In the end, those doubts had been taken over by his unexplainable need to be with her. Cortana was one of the very few factors in his life to bring any sense of logic or reliance, and he had felt crippled without that help. Having Cortana with him was the foremost step to even consider tackling any other issues about his path in life.

John glanced at the nearest holotable.

Cortana's purpose had also generated another more pressing question in his mind: If they were in some way meant to be together with Cortana, why on Earth had they been taken apart so many times? Gravemind, Rampancy, Requiem… was it all just a pattern starting to form out?

If John dared to be honest with himself, he knew that without those incidents he would have never started to value her this much. Their experiences on Halos, High Charity and Requiem had left them with memories and feelings that they would likely never be willing or able to share with other people. The only comfort for those pains and horrors being that there was other sentient being who could understand without being told.

In idle moments like this, John felt deeply how his relationship with Cortana was most pressingly expressed not on the moments when they were safe together, but on those when they were tortured souls apart.

This didn't mean that he didn't feel that deep seated happiness when just watching her process information or the raise in the corners of his mouth when she joked. And they could talk; he remembered well how Cortana had woken him up time after time on the Cairo Station just to keep him company. Moreover, they were exceptional team in the battlefield.

But none of that was anything compared to the need and loneliness he felt when she wasn't with him. In the end, it had taken her presumed destruction to make him truly understand and feel that need.

With that want came the fear.

It had been his duty to protect Cortana from the start, or their duty to protect each other as she wanted to remind him from time to time. Her unsaid meanings of "Don't blame yourself, John" and "We are in this together, equally responsible" not really reaching his ears.

He wasn't sure when it had become personal.

Somewhere along the line Cortana has started to matter, and therefore protecting her had achieved a new meaning as protecting himself, protecting John.

The understanding forced him to reflect himself as human. Human that could get scars. Something that could be broken.

Something that might have been broken a very long time ago.

And it was clear reminder how Cortana tended to be the smarter one of them in certain subjects. She hadn't given up the Index, hadn't given up to Rampancy and had given herself to save him and everyone at Earth. Maybe it was her ghost memories from Halsey's feelings of regret, maybe it was something to do with Colonel Ackerson, but somehow the choices she had made conveyed her resolve to be able to live with herself. To escape anymore of those questions that had haunted him for the past months.

Had it been worth it?

He could say individual moments when it had been most definitely worth it: learning to lead the Blue-team, destroying the first Halo ring, saving Kelly from Didact's grasp, bringing Cortana back. But all those incidents were accompanied by memories of Sam's death, leaving Cortana on High-Charity and the countless number of deaths on so many of his missions.

And again, nothing was simple anymore.

And the answers were nowhere to be seen or heard.

It was just quiet in the dark quarter. Like on so many nights before.

His small look for the holotable was the tiny clue that Cortana had luckily taken up to notice. Her glow giving little more light to the room and her voice breaking out the silence – letting John push back the questions for the next quiet moment. But, without a clear goal or objective, before that silence would be truly heard, it would come as first thing in the morning, again and again.

* * *

A/N: Aside from maybe Buried, this is my only attempt to try and handle any Chief/Cortana problems. I really like how John and Cortana have a very simple and yet very complicated relationship. I tried to bring some aloof feel to this one with very little description of "real" action and linking different thoughts into a mixed cacophony. Hope you enjoyed! :)


	6. Caring

A/N: Spoilers for H5: I have wanted to write a piece on how Cortana _could_ have achieved Metastability at the end of Halo 4, and what would be a better opportunity than to ponder that partly through Chief. Yay! This is AU, since it was written before that damned Halo 5's plot. I really agree that one of their main problems is trying to focus the whole plot around Chief and at the same time building the world with new characters – you just can't have everything… And now they are trying to turn the ridiculously little screen time Chief has into maximum character development, which results in these overly dramatic Cortana is the new bad guy stances. Sigh…  
And now after the rant on to the story, once again I hope you enjoy! Feel free to drop a comment – I promise I won't bite.

This has been Beta'd by my new wonderful Beta Rosamanelle.

Disclaimer: Don't own Halo, it belongs to Bungie and 343i…

* * *

**Caring**

"What does it mean?"

"Hmh?" Cortana woke from her reverie and looked to Chief, who had entered the room after his training session and a quick shower.

Her companion looked uncomfortable for a moment, not meeting her gaze and twisting his left hand slightly.

"Caring." Chief finally clarified.

That was not what Cortana had been expecting. His question momentarily threw her for a loop. She surveyed her Spartan, seeing he was serious about his question.

"That depends… Why are you asking?" She asked calmly, but interested by the turn of events.

"You, died for me. They said… that I might be emotionally compromised." Chief answered slowly as if he was pondering the situation in his mind the whole time. 'And I don't know what that means', was clearly behind all this, even though it was left unexpressed.

Oh.

Cortana turned fully towards John, turning her back to the cool window-glass.

"You don't have to do this, you know," She commented softly.

"I do." For a second the unsure man was replaced by a steadfast Spartan.

Pause.

"I don't know." The AI confessed slowly, getting back to subject at hand, not really being too sure on how to handle the question. "Based on the dictionary, caring means taking care of someone, being interested in other person or for example being worried over someone, but there are different types of caring, and I highly doubt they can be scrutinized properly into this or that."

"And Chief?" She stressed, making him look at her. "I can't tell you what you're feeling. It wouldn't be right, or ethical in any way. But I doubt it would be ethical as well not to help you." She continued little remorsefully.

"You, care, about me?" John asked, seemingly determined to continue the conversation since it was already started.

Cortana mentally shook her head exasperatedly, 'you still have to confirm that?'. "Of course." There was a small smile on her voice.

Maybe that was the best way to proceed.

"I… do care about you. It's not something that I could maybe even explain but." Cortana contemplated and was starting get that concentrated look in her eyes, signaling that she was very hardly trying to figure something out.

"You… Remember when I picked you?" And after receiving the smallest nod from the Spartan, she continued, "I might have left out one of the reasons why I picked you. And just for you to know, I never then said this, and you have no rights to hold me liable for this." She gave her companion a stern, although little embarrassed, look.

"I found you attractive. In some primitive, animalistic sort of way." Cortana explained quickly, throwing her hands in the air as if that would have made her less responsible for her past thoughts.

John's other eyebrow rose considerably, but before he could retort anything back to Cortana, she interrupted the telltale sign of his mouth curving up. "You looked nice." The AI hastily countered, as if that would have completely justified her past behavior. "And I guess it's genetic or whatever, there are countless of theories why some people find others good looking."

"You know, like… A hallway looks nicer without blood than with it. Or new combat knife just looks shinier than old one." Chief didn't even nod at her, clearly not completely understanding what she was getting at.

_This was going to be a long night._

"And when we worked together you turned out to be good company, you have nice sense of humor, you know how to listen, and so on. It's… you are easy to interact with", Cortana smiled lightly, "I know how you are going act, and it's convenient for me to cooperate with that."

"You also make me feel safe. …That's rare… these days. When I'm with you I just, feel more powerful and comfortable. You know like the difference between being on land and deep-space traveling."

Okay, that he could understand.

Cortana leaned her back on the window's hard glass and closed her eyes.

"You take care of me." She eventually said her eyes having the distant look.

"You make sure that I'm alright, you consider your actions towards me. It... I like to just spend time with you, you know that right? Seeing that you are in one piece and talking to you makes me happier. There isn't really other way to explain it. There's just something right about it."

"Like the way we interact through my neural lace system?" Chief asked, gradually focusing his gaze on her again.

"Yeah, exactly."

"I care about you for all those reasons, and for many others, but still not one of them is why I actually care about you."

"It's difficult to explain. When I was going rampant I just knew I didn't understand something and that I would need to figure something out. But I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, none of it just made any sense. But when we landed on the Requiem and the Didact was about to kill you, everything just fell into the right places." Cortana tried to explain, maybe even more to herself than to John.

"My rampancy clones… Even though what they tried, but when you were actually going to die, they were able to become necessarily single-minded to know that we couldn't lose you. We wouldn't lose you. And that's when I realized, I don't have to understand it. Feelings might not be anything logical, factually based, but it doesn't make them any less _real_. I need you, and whether that is rational or not, I still need you, and I can therefore base my actions on that. Make it a fact. Accept the logic behind illogical things." John could see Cortana's features relaxing.

"Maybe that's Metastability. I don't know." She shrugged, giving an unsure smile.

"And with you I don't think. It's the only time when all my thought processes just halt, and I can purely exist. Which is pretty ironic, because you also occupy much of my data processes."

"I can't explain what caring is, because it's a thing I could ultimately explain for hours, but eventually even that might not be enough. You care or you don't care."

She looked at him sympathetically, and the same time easing a little from her slumped position.

"People usually learn these things during childhood; you never had that chance. It's a process, it takes time. You should give it that." She advised gently.

John looked at her for a long time, before finally voicing his concern, "And if I should care now?" The raspiness of his voice only added to the slightly questioning look on his face.

"I've had over four more years to think of this than you, I know that."

The conversation was seemingly coming to an end as Chief nodded a small 'thank you', and was about to leave the room.

He took one last look at Cortana who pressed her forehead back to the cool glass and closed her eyes.

At least he had started to care about caring. You have to start from somewhere, right?


	7. Pastime

A/N: Once again I have to apologize for the long wait between the updates, RL has been quite busy and my Muse seems to have stranded me. But here's a quick (and short) drabble that popped on my mind. It was fun to play with a sisterly Miranda Keyes.

Disclaimer: Halo belongs to Bungie and 343i.

AU, Human!Cortana, before Halo 2.

* * *

"Cortana a word, will you?"

The violet haired woman in question raised her gaze to look at the soon to be Lieutenant Commander, but didn't stop her work with the station's defense systems.

The other woman's intimidating stance didn't falter a millimeter, expecting nothing but a compliant answer.

"Fine." Cortana responded dragging the ending out before following Miranda into a less crowded area of the Cairo Station. "Is something wrong?"

The unhurried and deliberately unworried question seemed to tense the atmosphere further.

"You know what's wrong." The older woman hissed. "Do you know what I heard just a few minutes ago? You slept with him. You slept with the damn Chief."

_Shit._

"And you believe every half-assed rumor that goes on around here?" The shorter of the two women whispered back, albeit with much less volume than the other.

"Cortana." Miranda shushed with a half-way there masked look of anger.

"Even if it happened to be true, it's none of anyone's business. And it's not _the_ Chief." Cortana responded almost as an afterthought.

"Look… I'd be the first to be happy about if you both found someone to mess around with, but we are at war, and one of humanity's most critical battles presumably less than few months away you two can't start screwing up one of the best teams on our side."

The younger woman still didn't seem too phased with the whole situation arms crossed on her chest. "We'll be fine."

"Don't start quoting him." The older woman immediately muttered, pressing her fingers to her forehead, seemingly not knowing whether she should start preaching or pulling her hair out.

Cortana just stared at her calmly before repeating her last line.

"Haven't you learnt anything from our mother?"

"I promise, I won't start creating artificial humans in the labs, okay?" The technician complied raising up her hands a little as a sign of honesty just for the older 'sister' to slap her hands back down.

"Please tell me used protection." Miranda muttered, and unable to help herself asked. "Why now?"

Cortana took a deep breath before answering with a not-so-well-hidden reminiscing smile "Well yesterday Johnson made a bet on how many of those candy tomatoes I could fit into my mouth…"

"Johnson started this?" The Lieutenant interrupted with a tone that clearly promised more than some trouble for the Sergeant.

"Well… kind of. You know how he has been pushing Chief for weeks now. I think they are both just bored on this whole waiting thing without being able to do anything." Cortana responded care-freely, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear.

It was clear in Cortana's eyes how the young Lieutenant's self-restraint was put to the test as she breathed through her nose and most obviously counted to ten.

"Don't do this again." Was clearly the last sisterly advice Cortana would be getting before the dark-haired woman left, presumably to give some other advices for one well-known cigarette smoker.

After the door closed a small smile tugged on Cortana's lips. From the start she had gotten quite well along with the Chief, partly because despite of the many differences in their personalities they both had few things in common, dislike towards boredom and inclination towards payback being very good examples of that. Now all what was left was that she could get to tell the news to him before Johnson's cursing would ring through the halls. Two Covenants in one shot, was it?


	8. Joke

A/N: Okay… This started of innocently with the core idea, but then it snowballed on and on. No real plot, just good old JohnxCortana banter for the sake of it.

A big Thank you for everyone who has left kudos of any kind!

Post Halo 4, AU, revived!Cortana, humor. (Updated to a Beta'd version 25.10.2016)

Disclaimer: Halo belongs to Bungie and 343i.

* * *

**Joke**

"I am not making this up. You remember what she was like. She is just having a laugh with this." John explained, his voice futilely rising slightly towards the end by the sheer amount of stress he was trying to put in his message.

Even the more profound, not to mention uncharacteristic, proclamation didn't help his matter since Fred was clearly uncertain what to answer to him. The slightly shorter Spartan had a faintly uncomfortable look on his face as he shook his head the tiniest amount when they walked through the halls of Infinity.

The Master Chief had to swallow some of his pride because he felt like a whiny new recruit in addition to the growing amount of frustration of the past months.

A month and a half ago he had been at loss what to do, still mourning Cortana's death and trying to deal with the emptiness that had followed him mission after mission. The whole mess had really started, however, after a non-profit mission to a UNSC research station Argent Moon. He had returned from the mission back to his quarters on Infinity only to find Cortana sitting on top of his bunk, her unchanged looks only adding to her unceremonious appearance.

Naturally his first impression had been somewhere between a strong sense of wariness and a stunned shock, what by others might have categorized somewhere close to a heart-skipping relief. For Cortana's luck John's emotional turmoil hadn't dented his nerves, so she didn't have to duck bullets for breaking in.

Cortana's explanation wasn't that long, the Didact had forced her to enter the Domain and it had taken her time to put herself back together. Domain had, however, fixed her Rampancy, as weird as it seemed since the universe of information she now had at her hands.

* * *

It was useless to say that John had been more than wary for the first week and kept his eyes on her during the next one, but the customs and little nuances characteristic to Cortana finally won him over, or then it was the need that had been building up and over while she had been gone.

It could have been perfect.

After every mission, after every day when he returned back to his quarters, back to his bed, Cortana was there lazily waiting to catch up all the lost time. Her face was sometimes framed by her hair splashing over _his_ white pillow, her feet high up against the wall 'to help the information run faster in her body'. She would look annoyed and cocky when he teased that putting her feet up didn't matter when she didn't have physical veins. Cortana had also been far from unproductive as she spent her days going through the information she could collect from the Domain, hacking Infinity's systems to make sense of the Prometheans and the Didact's whereabouts. Little by little, or in reality not so slowly, she started using the Domain and her skills to accompany the Chief at times to cope with her boredom, wherever he was. The teasing intensifying and becoming more frequent as the days progressed.

It really _could_ have been perfect.

John's mood had been up and this together with his growing tendency for withdrawal – thanks to Cortana's methods in keeping him inside quarters – Blue-team and even some other members of the crew had rising reservations over his well-being.

Amidst his high spirits he hadn't given much of a thought over Cortana's future plans. The AI had expressed her wish for a little break from duty, even though she was doing a lot out of public eyes. They had also discussed how ONI would take her return, and came to some sort of temporary agreement that she should stay outside larger awareness. John hadn't even given that much of a thought over Blue-team, something of his companionship with Cortana seemed too intimate for that. He didn't oppose telling them, but the act of coming out with an alive 'relationship' seemed even more awkward option than grieving an old one. Moreover, he didn't want to put his team on the in-between by telling them something they might later be accused of keeping of.

His not-so-thought-out-decision however resulted in the fact that Cortana had to often disappear fast and without a noise to 'keep his image as an eligible bachelor untarnished', as she had sneeringly stated after reappearing from a longer quick get-away.

It had been about a month ago when he had, once again, returned back to his quarters finding a very bored Cortana lying on his bed. They had played with cards the rest of the evening because Cortana had been determined to find out whether her ability to count cards would win against his luck. After many, many rounds and defeats the game had stopped when Cortana had dug her way into the Spartan's lap, resting her head on his shoulder. John had wrapped his arm around her back – the initial slight awkwardness being mostly lost on the first week. And just as Cortana's lips had faintly brushed his neck, Kelly had knocked on the door, making Cortana stop the endeavors of her hand underneath his shirt.

It wasn't the first interruption, which was easily detectable in the way Cortana's open hand clenched over his abdomen. Unbeknownst to the frustration she was causing, Kelly had knocked again, resulting the AI to make herself disappear from sight, with a small, but still distinctly audible, sigh and an eye roll.

And that should have been his cue.

Even upon Apocalypse with all their history together it should have registered at least in one of his brain cells that only thing worse than a bored Cortana, was a bored _and_ frustrated Cortana.

Later on, he blamed the situation on the harmful effects of the neural-lace. The pain caused every time when Cortana had entered into his brain must have been from his dying brain cells, which now clearly resulted in poorer judgement and loss of focus. Of course, he had also silently considered emotions as the key element, but _that_ answer seemed somehow harder to admit.

* * *

The first time he had gotten caught red-handed, had been when he had been talking with Cortana in the armory as Linda had walked in. Cortana had vanished right before the red-headed Spartan had entered, leaving John talking to empty air. He had managed to fix the situation nonchalantly, and he had almost been able to convince himself to believe the faked alarm on Cortana's face when she had disappeared.

The second time left him with less of a doubt, and as the weeks progressed John found himself from a growing number of very compromising and awkward situations. Whether it was talking to walls, having nonsense tactical information or his in-helmet monologues transmitted to the whole Blue-team his AI-companion seemed to use all her skills and expertise to make sure that even though she wasn't going Rampant anymore, he sure as hell would be.

On top of it all, Cortana had taken everything out of their new relationship and the nadir was reached when she had been waiting for him in the locker room while he had showered. When he had come back from the shower, wearing nothing but the towel and making a dry joke at her, he had not found a smirking Cortana, but a quite wide-eyed and worried Blue-team. It wasn't his lack of clothing, it was nothing for the Spartans, but the concept of the whole thing did not go amiss at least from Kelly who seemingly had learnt way too much during Blue-team's time apart. Cortana had later dismissed the event solely as his mid-life crisis, stating it would be completely unnecessary for the next few decades or so if he would just stay out of jumping down from orbital platforms.

He was starting to be sure that Cortana was a devil for a woman, AI or any other force in the galaxy.

To be honest, he might have been able to solve the problem with an apology, by offering peace and accepting his defeat, but he knew it was a battle of two wills for integrity and if not for the eternal glory, then at least for some personal smugness and a right for years' worth of teasing.

Of course, his personal integrity was already in crumbles with his prestige, which left the Spartan with an unfinished doubt of being too stubborn for his own good.

Even after the shower incident the AI had laughed furiously the whole evening, which had later into the night turned into tired giggles, leaving him wishing for a payback. However, he couldn't deny the positive aspect, Cortana was happy. There were still traces of rampancy and High Charity, but when she was grinning like a maniac in his hood's display and her outright laughter ringing in his speakers after smuggling a bunch of underwear from Infinity's technicians and Commander Palmer into his technical gear bag only to be found by others, he could swore the lines transferred to his face.

The situation was getting well out of hand, and he had even tried to expose Cortana to other people, almost to anyone, just to ensure his own sanity and win even one round, but even though his luck might outrun the AI's wit, his logic couldn't.

At the end of the day, John was starting to be very certain that before ONI got a chance to step him aside from duty, he would be sent to a psychiatrist.

_"You don't have to worry about that, it'll be fun, you get to look at ink spots and tell about your feelings. Blue woman, green men, I don't think the difference will trouble them too much. And if you really want I'll come with you for emotional support. "_

No, Cortana's generous offer of help didn't comfort him the slightest.

* * *

He had been notified of larger meeting taking place in the afternoon, related to Fireteam Crimson's findings on their latest endeavor. However, not even five minutes into the meeting he, and luckily only he, could see how Cortana appeared in middle of the greyish table lying on her stomach with a clothing he knew was nowhere appropriate for the scene. At first she looked plain bored, even though, she must have gone through more information about Infinity's system than any of the room's organic occupants, the fingers of her right hand drawing absent minded circles on the table while her left supported her head.

There was something magnetic about her gaze, since he just couldn't look away. The Spartan trusted that his helmet covered his eye movements, but somehow he still felt himself exposed and could have sworn that Commander Palmer's gaze contained a little bit more suspicion than normal, not to mention the fact that these days she seemed to opt to stand an inch or two farther away from him every time they met.

Regardless, it swiftly became a staring contest between him and Cortana, like something he had heard kids play. Cortana seemed very content by just staring at him while waiting for the breakdown, while the Spartan tried to look anywhere except at the hem of his shirt's holographic version that rose terribly close to her upper-thigs as she swung her legs in a way of waiting.

Little did Captain Lasky know that he almost got a kick of Cortana's heel to the side of his head when he walked around the table.

John almost thought that the nightmarish trial was over when Cortana's eyes got a more bored look and she seemed to give up, but then his undersuit sprung to life, making his quite uncomfortable armor feeling a tad tighter than before. As he tried to shift slightly he bumped his right elbow into the reinforced chair's backseat, making Kelly to turn sharply at his direction. He swayed his hand a little to try and act that nothing was wrong, while inwardly getting uncharacteristic pleasure when Cortana laughed herself off the table with a small animated thud on his speakers.


End file.
